Imusholtar: Prologue

February 28, 2010

‘Hey, Rutskarn.’
Jibar’s voice echoed down the empty hall, bouncing off the stone walls and transporting themselves straight into the ears of the poor dwarf known as Rutskarn.
‘Hey! Rutskarn!’
He tried to ignore it, tried to ignore that excited voice that brimmed with joy. Don’t listen, don’t listen, don’t listen. I can plug my ears with my beard, he thought, and never have to hear him again.
‘HEY! HEY! RUTSKARN HEY!’
He shut his eyes and covered his ears. Lalalalala can’t hear you lalalalala you’re not there lalalalala OH GODS. He had opened his eyes and Jibar was now face to face with him, defying all concepts of personal space.
‘RUTSKARN’ He was still shouting.
‘Yes, Jibar, what do you want?’
‘I have had a FANTASTIC idea!’
‘Jibar, you know what your ideas are like.’
‘Ah, but there’s no lava this time.’
Rutskarn rubbed his brow and ran fingers through his beard.
‘Alright then Jibar, what’s the idea?’
‘Well this fortress is thriving and successful, why can’t we do it do?’
Rutskarn had no idea his eyes could open that wide.
‘You’re not… you’re… no no no no no. No. NO! No.’
He walked back and forth, chanting “no” over and over. Jibar never moved.
‘You’re mad! You’ve been struck by some even crazier variation of a fey mood! Start our own fortress, our own fortress! No dwarf ever comes back when they go to start a fortress!’
‘That’s because their fortresses are thriving too.’ The smile beneath that beard was unmistakibly honest. ‘I already have some dwarfs who want to come.’
‘You have what?’

‘Rutskarn, this is Phase.’
‘Let’s stop right there. Excuse us.’ Rutskarn gripped Jibar firmly by the shoulder and led him away. ‘I know Phase, and I know Phase is mad. He’s an Outside Dwarf, one of those Fresh Airers. He’s even more insane than you.’
‘Precisely.’
He gave Jibar a flat stare. ‘I will hurt you until you stop scaring me.’
‘Phase is an Outside Dwarf, so he can help us make a farm, and you’re used to my madness so his madness should be fine.’
Another stare. ‘I hate you. Hi Phase’
‘Hey Rutskarn.’ Phase beamed through his beard.
Jibar led him to the next dwarf. ‘This is InksGuy.’
InksGuy was monotone. ‘Hello.’
‘I… hello.’ Rutskarn leaned to Jibar and whispered ‘What’s up with him?’
‘InksGuy is broken. Something about stone elephant cages. He doesn’t say much.’
‘Okay, and who’s this guy?’
‘Hi, I’m Voidseraph.’ The dwarf waved happily.
‘He’s a miner-‘
‘I prefer Simon, if it’s all the same.’
‘Simon is the name of miners in his religion.’
Something about this guy made Rutskarn nervous. ‘What is… your religion?’
‘We worship the great Lagann and his ally Guren. Legendary warrior miners.’ Voidseraph bowed his head, then in a lightning motion shot his fist into the sky, finger pointing to the ceiling.
Rutskarn gaped, then shot a look of pure malice to Jibar. Gripping him again, they walked away once more.
‘WHAT.’
‘What?’
‘WHAT!’
‘Whaaat?’
‘WHAAAT!?’
‘What!?’
‘Why is everyone CRAZY!?’
‘Balthasar and Atheist aren’t.’
‘Why are they coming?’
‘They want to make new friends.’
Rutskarn furiously rubbed his brow. Eventually, once he had started rubbing skin from his forehead he sighed. ‘What do you want me to do, exactly?’
‘You’ll keep our records and history with those words you write and the pictures you carve.’ It was hard to argue with the naivety that radiated from that hairy face.
‘…fine, I’ll come.’
‘Great! Let’s go!’
Blink.
‘Now?’
‘Sure. We already have all the supplies together, animals are ready. We were just waiting on you.’
Rutskarn didn’t say a thing. He followed Jibar to the gates of their once home. He stacked barrels in silence, bridled mule without a word, followed the path over the hills with sky ahead without complaint. And there, as he looked back and saw his home standing tall and proud did he speak.
‘Boop.’
Jibar mounted a mound, standing tall and proud, sun shining upon him.
‘Now, members of The Orbs of Comedy, we go to make history! Across this land we shall travel, and together we shall make our fortunes and our worths! With I, Jibar Endokista, acting as your High Awesomer we shall forge… um… IMUSHOLTAR!’
‘…did you say Dikegild?’
‘YES! TO DIKEGILD MY DWARFS! HO!’

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6 Responses to “Imusholtar: Prologue”

  1. Phase said

    TO DIKEGILD MY COMRADES!

    HOOOOOOOOOOOOAAAAA.

  2. Rutskarn said

    I’m surrounded…by eeeeeee-diots.

  3. Yes! More excellent reading material for me to peruse instead of doing productive things. Thanks for pointing this out, Rutskarn.

  4. Balthasar said

    I’m not crazy! Hooray! 😀

  5. Volatar said

    Oh man, I am so following this one! 😀

  6. jibar23 said

    The difference between this and Rutskarn’s LP is he had no idea what he was doing.
    I don’t.

    And I have so many plans.

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